It's 1997, you turn on the radio and hear Justin Timberlake's voice climbing the charts, and movie theaters are packed for the film "Liar Liar" with Jim Carrey.
Debates about the administration of psychotropic drugs to "lively" children are raging across the Atlantic, with many sociological interpretations emerging and contradicting each other. Meanwhile, psychoanalytic theories on autism, identifying its cause as a lack of maternal love, are still somewhat favored.
A voice within the scientific community makes a groundbreaking contribution: the autistic sociologist Judy Singer coins a new term: neurodiversity. With this word, Singer aims to raise awareness that it is normal, possible, and acceptable for people's brains to function differently from one another.
Instead of thinking that something is wrong, pathological to be treated, or problematic, neurodiversity embraces differences in brain function and the resulting behavioral expression as a natural characteristic of diversity within the human population.
In 2000, American autism rights activist Kassiane A. Asasumasu introduces the terms neurodivergent and neurodivergence to refer to a person who cannot behave like a neurotypical person, who, on the other hand, exhibits behaviors expected by the dominant culture in that historical-social context.
This begins the long process of shifting the cultural, as well as clinical, paradigm from a medical, pathologizing approach to a biopsychosocial paradigm.
It is thanks to this slow but steady cultural shift that actor Jim Carrey revealed he had always been an energetic, fast-moving child and spoke candidly about his ADHD, which he referred to as a "superpower" that made him the actor he is today.
Justin Timberlake has stated that during adolescence, due to some concentration and hyperactivity issues, he was diagnosed with ADHD. Later, he was also diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
There are various ways in which neurodivergence manifests, and we are learning to recognize them, albeit not without challenges and prejudices, in everyday life, especially for those interacting with children and adolescents.
Autism, also known as "Autism Spectrum Disorder" or ASD, is a broad set of conditions that can include difficulties with social interaction and skills, repetitive behaviors, and sometimes language challenges, which may lead individuals to communicate non-verbally.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a disorder of executive function dysregulation, meaning a person struggles to regulate their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors appropriately according to the context.
People with ADHD may have difficulty organizing, be restless, struggle with remembering instructions or following a sequence of steps, have trouble integrating different sources of information, and solving problems.
Specific Learning Disorders also fall under the umbrella of neurodivergence, affecting language, reading, writing, and mathematical skills.
Other lesser-known forms of neurodivergence include dyspraxia, a difficulty in coordinating fine and/or gross motor movements, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and giftedness, which is identified through tests where a score of IQ equal to or greater than 130 is the criterion.
These specific brain and behavioral functions can combine in comorbidities or, as it is preferred to call it, "double exceptionality."
Thus, we may have ADHD with learning disabilities, or ASD with dyspraxia. Behind all these acronyms are people, families, children, and parents, and the whole relational world in which they are immersed. Social expectations are standardized around neurotypical functioning, and this leads to the neurodivergent individual struggling to adapt to their environment, along with the perpetuation of myths, prejudices, and beliefs about their different functioning.
Often, comments from those unfamiliar with neurodivergence focus on poor upbringing, parents' inability to impart correct discipline to their children, or that they are being too soft or permissive.
If that were the case, simple solutions and behavioral corrections could be achieved merely by changing the parental figures.
This exposure to judgment also undermines the self-esteem of both the neurodivergent person and their family members, triggering feelings of misunderstanding, loneliness, and social isolation, in an attempt to avoid being judged. Thus, the child, adolescent, or adult neurodivergent person begins to withdraw from social experiences out of fear of being rejected as "weird" or "incapable." Moreover, the individual is no longer welcomed into social life and is rejected: they are not invited to birthday parties, are avoided at the park, and are marginalized from the social fabric, with repercussions on mental health and the development of autonomy.
Parents are often asked, "Didn't you notice earlier?" The answer is no.
No, because sometimes the parents themselves are unconsciously neurodiverse, so their child's behavior does not seem unusual or strange since it aligns with their own way of functioning, and thus seems "normal."
No, because in nuclear families, it's uncommon to meet infants and young children before parenthood, so parents lack points of reference—they have no idea what a child is like.
No, because even when they do notice, they often receive reassurances from healthcare and education professionals that every child develops at their own pace, we’ll see how it goes, they're still too young to say, let’s give it time, they need to adapt.
This cautious approach, while respectful of developmental timing, can sometimes make parents feel inadequate in relation to their child, unable to attune to the relentless and sometimes overwhelming needs that demand enormous sacrifices in terms of energy and resources, impacting the well-being of the entire family.
Imagine an infant with ASD: they may cry for hours, want to be constantly in motion, have sleep disturbances that don’t settle, creating immense stress, especially for the mother, as our society still largely assigns caregiving roles to women.
This mother may be reassured that her child is simply high-needs.
All children are high-needs, but neurodivergent children can be so demanding that the mother feels overwhelmed by the need for contact and presence, sometimes rejecting any other figure.
We are not saying that a child who wants their mother is necessarily neurodivergent, but the intensity of the demand might—or might not—give us reason to reflect and consider the situation further.
Take, for example, a two-year-old child who has tantrums with very aggressive behaviors like throwing objects, breaking things, hurling chairs, or repeatedly hitting due to seemingly minor frustrations.
In this case, parents might be advised to consider this behavior as part of the so-called "terrible twos." However, it would be more helpful to understand the level of discomfort felt by the parent or at least evaluate the severity of these outbursts.
Behind every neurodivergent person is a family, sometimes confused, scared, rejecting, or avoiding.
It is not a fault to be neurodivergent: nature plays dice with our genes. Currently, there are no definitive answers regarding genetic findings; in many cases, we talk about family predispositions, influenced by environmental factors that affect developmental pathways.
However, neuroscience research is making progress, and we have the obligation to remain hopeful that one day we will have many answers to our questions and many tools and methods to build a world for everyone—yes, everyone—without leaving anyone behind.
B. Alfieri,
Psychology and Education Science graduate,
teacher and mother of a young neurodivergent child